Before I started my coaching sessions, I felt defeated. I felt like all my hard work was for nothing, and no matter what I achieved in life it wouldn’t mean as much because I wouldn’t have my parent’s validation. I had always judged my life through the perspective of my parent’s happiness, but through my coaching sessions I realized that because my parents were unhappy with their own lives they could never be happy with me.
I used the meditative techniques that my coach thought me in times of stress and anxiety. I attempt to find time at least once a day to step away from my work and practice it. I do feel that my brain has stopped defaulting to “doom and gloom”. In my conversions with my coach I have realized that I should learn to accept my parents the way they are, because then only can I learn to work with them. I must stop making excuses for their toxic behavior and not be passive with them.
I have slowly started to feel optimistic and self-reliant again. I have started to feel that my parents don’t have such a strong hold on me emotionally anymore. I have the ability to understand behavior (Parents’ perspective) but not excuse it.
My life won’t be spent trying to meet unrealistic expectation for a moving goal post. My physical health is also better, as a lot of my anxiety would manifest in lack of appetite. I feel overall positive about the future.
I have learned to emotionally not get embroiled with my parents and draw boundaries. I have also learned how to express myself freely, keeping in mind the difference between “progressive conversations” and “defensive conversations”. I don’t let guilt eat me alive any longer, because I understand that this has very little to do with me and everything to do with who they are.
I feel emotionally equipped to have healthy relationships in the future, and recognize toxic patterns.
I think my coach was perfect and I felt that he had an insight that other therapists have lacked. He was always willing to listen through and talk through things. He never dismissed my feelings, and recognized cultural problems that are common in South Asian households.