When I first started my sessions I had panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, nightmares, and felt emotional pain.
My feeling about life was too confused, I was blaming myself for being raped, and that I faced sexual assault. My mental health was so bad, I was having nightmares about my rapist, and my friends assaulting me, that nightmare was repeating several times a day, and I was so afraid of everyone.
Now I feel that I'm more confident, and stopped blaming myself, as I know it wasn't my fault for being raped or abused.
I feel that life is so much worthy to live and have fun of each part, and moment of it.. as I feel that I have to fight for my life. My therapist sessions helped me to replace suicidal thoughts with surviving thoughts. So instead of thinking about killing myself, now I know that I have to own my life and fight for it, I MUST LIVE, and STOP BLAMING MYSELF for being raped, or for being a lesbian, now I feel that I'm comfortable than ever, and I have that image in my head "that I live in a safe place and feel peaceful;", that helps me to keep going and stay positive, and never give up on my life.
The most challenging part, when my therapist told me that "You won't live like that forever" I thought she just saying motivating words, I was depressed back then, but I realized that she was right already because now I'm trying to get away out of my country, and applied for a visa, job, life out there.... etc. She was right, I won't live in that situation forever and I hope when I get a job with a good salary, so I can continue my sessions with her, because she was really good, and helped me a lot.